Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
