Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
