turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
