I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
