Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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