I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
