I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
