What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
