Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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