just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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