somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
