so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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