So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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