Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
