Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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