found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
