he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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