it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
