SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
