i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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