I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
