covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
