Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she smelled like a LAN party
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
