she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I am naked and annoyed.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
