dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
