if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
