How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Bring me that man meat
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
