**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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