You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
