Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Your cock deserves a montage
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
