Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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