Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
