Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
