I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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