Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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