I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think a kid would responsible me up
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
