I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
