You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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