Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
