And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
