Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
