Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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