Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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