haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
