Are we in a gay sports bar?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
