hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
