your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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