I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
