The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
