we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
